Slow motion

The first week on the job with the Mountaineers is complete and it has been an eye-opener. This may seem commonsensical but most everything takes longer to accomplish when you're sporting four casts and in a wheelchair. Not everything mind you; ironically, I motor along faster than most people walk so getting back and forth to bus stops happens in the blink of an eye.

Just about everything else requires strategy. From getting out of bed (and into the wheelchair) to getting out of the door, every step requires careful & methodical pre-planning. Sponging down (forget showering, and bathing is just a dream)? Brushing teeth and flossing? Shaving? Getting dressed? Preparing a lunch? We're talking two hours just to get to the breakfast table!

What you try to avoid above all else is dropping things. Picking things up after you drop them is a huge time sink. You use a long grabber device to pick things up and some things can be really slippery (like your cell phone) or very difficult to capture (like a credit card). The worst thing to drop of course is the grabber itself!  You're not totally SOL when this happens but retrieving it takes another big chunk of time, . . . You have to situate the wheelchair just so and then fully recline so you can barely reach down to retrieve the grabber. Oi!

At work you can no longer take for granted the simple things like preparing a cup of coffee or grabbing a snack out of the refrigerator. It's all about methodical process and careful planning to avoid catastrophes like dropping your coffee cup from a couple of feet off the ground or knocking over an open container of milk. Maneuvering around an office can be challenging as well. There are file cabinets and rolling chairs where you might not expect them so quite often you take detours to get to your planned destination.  It's all good, it just takes time.

Once home, just about every minute is spoken for in getting ready for the next day and preparing for bed.  All in all I have yet to arrive at work when I want to or get to bed on time.  I am getting better each day but man has this been a learning process.

The Mountaineers

They say never mix work with pleasure but I just couldn't resist.

Joining the Mountaineers staff as director of operations is a dream job for me. I love what the Mountaineers stands for and how it goes about moving forward towards achieving its mission and vision. In my mind the Mountaineers organization is one of a kind in the world, and I am consistently amazed by the volunteer ethos continually exhibited by the 500+ people who pay it forward year-in year-out without a second thought.

I have come to know their motivation. We share a love for exploring beautiful natural places and we gain great pleasure from enabling others to safely venture into these realms to establish their own connection. This is a rare and beautiful gift freely given to over ten thousand members which replicates endlessly throughout the outdoor community. There are countless instances where Mountaineers meet others in need and offer their assistance without regard to the impact on there own adventure.

Then there is everything the Mountaineers does to support conservation of our beautiful natural places as well as outreach to youth who might not otherwise have access to these special places.  I feel so fortunate to be part if an organization with these lofty goals!

Getting ready to return to work

Yesterday Marijane, Marie and I hopped aboard Metro and did a dry run of my commute from the Landmark to my new workplace.  We took the 40 bus from Leary Way to downtown Fremont and then transferred to the 75 which took us to our final destination. The trip took about an hour (about 30 minutes in a car).  Marijane and Marie visited the final destination last weekend to evaluate possible wheelchair roadblocks and we ended up finding a safe way from the bus stop to the front door of my new workplace.

I have become adept at maneuvering my motorized wheelchair into the wheelchair accessible space at the front of the Metro buses such that I am able to raise my feet and lower my back and head to keep my feet as close to the level of my heart as possible which is what the doctors want. However to the other folks on the bus it looks like I'm totally chilling out.

Thankfully the dress code at this new workplace is pretty casual and that's good because for the next 6 months it's going to be pullover shirts and shorts for this young man!

New digs!

I've been making so much convalescence progress that our insurance provider decided it was time for me to migrate from a skilled nursing center to an assisted living community.  It makes perfect sense to me as I no longer have need of 24 hour nurse care, people doling out medications, or meals delivered to my bed.

Ideally I would head for home at this point, but because I'll be in this motorized wheelchair for the next 6 to 8 months, and because our home is so very wheelchair unfriendly it makes sense for me to remain in an ADA approved facility for the duration. It could be as simple as an apartment built for wheelchair-bound folk, however, because I am unable to load bear on hands or feet (just elbows and knees at this point) family members are concerned that if I deck then there would be nobody around to pick me up. Hence we've looked at several assisted living communities and have settled on the Ballard Landmark on Leary Way.

Miraculously, we were able to move from Anderson House to Ballard Landmark in a single day with the help of sister Laura and brother-in-law Bill. They packed up everything in my room, moved it out to their rental car,  transported it from Shoreline to Ballard, and then moved everything back into the Landmark.  I'll remain in a temporary guest suite for several days while the Landmark crew prepares my apartment; they want to replace carpet and paint the walls.  Simultaneously I'll coordinate delivery of a few pieces of IKEA furniture and a rented powered hospital bed, and then I'll be all set. 

The Landmark Community are very curious about me and I'll be making a bunch of new friends in the course of the next several months. By the way, it is a great place for visiting. The public spaces are very comfortable and well-appointed and it would be fun to entertain guests here.

First bus to Ballard

So, you've had a climbing gym accident, you've successfully made it through numerous surgeries, you've been bedridden for the last six weeks, but now you have just got a fancy new wheelchair and have demonstrated abilities to get around including on and off of buses.

You're free! Where would you go? What would you do?

I headed for home, and home for me is Ballard. More specifically my first and most pressing desire was too get to my barber, have a haircut and a thorough hair washing, and then have her shave the six-week beard off my face!  Heaven!!

Backing up just a bit. Laura and Bill arrived at Anderson House and sat with me for breakfast before we headed for the 348 bus stop. We took the 348 to Northgate Transit Center and caught the 40 to Ballard.  No muss no fuss. Disembarking at the main bus stop in Ballard was a very special moment: rolling along Market Street in perfect sunshine, seeing all the familiar places, feeling the energy of the neighborhood, knowing I was finally home.

In addition to the barber mission we also had an appointment to visit and tour Ballard Landmark on Leary Way. The Landmark is a senior assisted living community but in special cases they allow slightly less than senior individuals (like me!) to become residents. The tour left us very enthusiastic about my joining the community. You've got to see this place: many amenities and very well-appointed community spaces.  The one bedroom apartment we visited on the 5th floor has southwesterly views of both the ship canal and the Olympic range.  Ironically the Landmark is directly across the ship canal from Vertical World Climbing Gym.

Later in the afternoon we toured up and down Ballard Avenue stopping in various places. Sangrias at Matadors. Oysters at Acme bar.  Whiskeys at Macleod's.  Marijane and Marie joined us for dinner at Bastille. After a leisurely and entertaining meal I took Metro back to Anderson House and made it in time to watch the last 10 minutes of the Seahawks game.

What a fantastic first day of freedom!

Epiphany - summit fever

Family members noticed I was getting increasingly grouchy and impatient on the first and second days of my liberation by wheelchair. The evening of the second day after motoring around the neighborhood we sat out on the back porch of the facility and regardless of what we talked about I sensed in myself immense unease and it impacted how I interacted with loved ones.  They were right---and that was frustrating too---I had obviously lost my sense of being in the present and joyful in the now.  I wrote the previous blog entry just before bedtime with unease frothing over within me.

Early the next morning I contemplated the last sentence of the previous evening's blog post where I used the analogy of having a severe case of summit fever. I thought more about this and all of the sudden it became obvious: metaphorically I had been climbing for the last 6 weeks and in gaining use of the motorized wheelchair I found myself within striking distance of the next major encampment on the route, . . . perhaps with grand territorial views. There was no doubt I was indeed experiencing a form of summit fever.

And then it all came into proper perspective again and I laughed at myself; the frustration, unease, and impatience were all banished.  I understand summit fever and know what to do when it strikes. I have to be careful not to move forward if the route has become too dangerous or the weather too bad or some other condition is present that would put the climbing party at risk. I have to step back for a moment and reconsider whether all the conditions are within tolerable limits of risk and whether the climbing party's skills are up to the task.

Deep relaxing sigh.  I was ready for this next day regardless of what it would bring. And thankfully it brought the next step of the progression in mastering motorized wheelchair skills. My operational therapist surprised me by suggesting we use the Metro to practice bus entry and exit skills; I wouldn't have to wait 3 or 4 days to attempt this next progression.

Yehaw!

We (two operational therapists, my sister Laura and brother-in-law Bill) motored to the bus stop outside of Anderson House and boarded the 348 headed for the Northgate Transit Center.  Navigating the ramp up into the bus was easy but making turns to get the wheelchair positioned inside the bus was challenging, . . . but doable.  It was grand sitting up front in the wheelchair accessible spot with excellent views of the street ahead.

Rather than going all the way to the transit center we disembarked  as we arrived at Northgate Mall  so that we could make a more realistic transition from one bus to another . Maneuvering out of the bus was much easier than getting situated within the bus. Before I knew it we were back at Anderson house and my occupational therapist had given me two thumbs up for a successful journey.

Starting the next day I would be free to go wherever I wanted to on Metro!

Four wheelin' in the hood

Wow!  This new wheelchair is fantastic!! I spent the first afternoon practicing throughout the facility and the staff seemed as enthusiastic as I was about my new mobility. It took no time at all to gain skill in motoring down hallways, making turns, getting through doors, and deft maneuvering in small spaces. It was fun motoring up to  people who, previously, I had needed to call to my bedside for assistance.    After being bedridden for six weeks no doubt there was a certain amount of motivation to acquire these new skills.

On day two I got into the chair at 7 a.m. and relinquished mobility at 9 p.m. I ate all three meals in the dining room rather than lying in bed. I spent much of the day on the back patio visiting with my elder sister Laura and brother-in-law Bill who flew in  from Tampa the previous evening.  My occupational therapist wanted to observe me venturing out into the nearby neighborhood and so we motored out of the parking lot, turned onto a sidewalk, crossed the street at a designated crosswalk, and continued to a grocery store on the next corner. We went inside and I demonstrated skill in grocery shopping for a few items.

I am really looking forward to using the Metro System to get from Anderson House to just about anywhere that is wheelchair accessible in Seattle.  Before I can tool around on my own, however, my occupational therapist needs to accompany me on a trial run and that may not be until next Monday.   Until then I'm limited to visiting places in the local neighborhood. Hey, there's a 7-Eleven not so far away. Haven't had a Slurpee and a while!

Man, exhibiting patience from now until Monday will be an excellent test of my new-found perspective on remaining present in the now.  The closest climbing analogy I can think of is having a severe case of summit fever.  So close.

My new ride

Two weeks ago we began speaking with a wheelchair company representative about my needs going forward for the next six to eight months and we came up with the specifications for a fairly fancy motorized wheelchair.  The wheelchair company submitted a claim to our insurance and ordered fabrication of the wheelchair.

On Friday of last week we received pre-authorization from our insurance company to receive the wheelchair and simultaneously the wheelchair arrived at the wheelchair company facility close by.

This afternoon at 2:30 p.m. we have an appointment with the wheelchair company technician to be introduced to this fantastic new enabler of freedom and mobility.  We will be going on a series of practice outings for the remainder of the week, and if all goes as expected then from this afternoon onward I will be able to go just about anywhere that is wheelchair accessible in Seattle!  Yahoo!!

Of course I'll have to give my new mount a fitting name. I'll wait several days to allow us a chance to get to know one another and then will come up with something.

Looking forward to being a little saddle sore!

The now

Another unexpected gift I have received as a result of taking this unexpected journey is perceiving a unique and profound outlook or point of view. I have attempted to describe this to friends and family in terms of a "before the fall" perspective compared with an "after the fall" perspective.

Looking at my current situation through the lens of the before the fall perspective you might anticipate that I would be frustrated and impatient about being bedridden and then limited to a wheelchair for such a long period of time.  But something happened once I departed Harborview and found a more restful environment at Anderson House. I had time to reflect and count my blessings.

And that kind of multiplied on itself. I found myself being thankful to the point of overflowing just about every hour of every day. I became more 'present' and 'mindful' in 'the now.'  Not thinking about tomorrow or next week or next month eliminated any cause for frustration or impatience. In 'the now' there was just enough room for extreme thankfulness and appreciation for my good fortune.  One morning I woke up and experienced a literal tidal wave of thankfulness and appreciation; it was overwhelming.  I hesitate to use words like transformational but that's exactly how I felt.

No telling whether I'll be able to maintain this sense of presence and mindfulness, but having had the chance to experience it and having the prospect of being able to hang on to it gives me cause for great joy. Here is yet another example of tremendous good fortune.

When I first experienced it and coined the phrase 'being in the now' I thought it was something brand new, but then coincidentally I was reading a book called 10% Happier about the documented physical and mental benefits associated with meditation. The author of that book went into quite a bit of detail about how to meditate and he discussed being in the now.  Who'da thunk it.

Silver Linings

Wow, so many things to be thankful for!

Marijane and the girls basically took six weeks of their lives and put them on hold while helping me through the thickest part of it.  It is impossible to imagine having to have done all that on my own. Marijane has worked ceaselessly on my behalf with doctors, nurses, hospital administrators, nursing home administrators, insurance administrators, wheelchair experts, physical therapy experts, the list goes on and on. No way could I have done any of that. When I was in full-arm casts and the meals arrived she even fed me. And while Marijane has been supporting me, Marie and Rachel have been supporting Marijane by picking up responsibilities at the house.

Then by all my lucky stars I've gotten out of this with the all of the important things intact.  My spinal cord, brain, and nervous system as well as all internal organs were unharmed.  I am one lucky dude!  Yes there's a lot of mechanical stuff to put back together, but I'm in the hands of Harborview medical teams and those folks have put people back together a gazillion times.

And it has been fantastic to receive all the love, kindness, and support from family and friends. Sisters and brothers are flying in to visit. Friends are dropping by and I have company just about every day. Mom and Dad expect a call every evening and we chat for about a half an hour; it's amazing how much new stuff I am learning about their lives.

Just before the fall I was in final conversations with a wonderful organization about a terrific job and it is amazing that they have been patient with me during this ordeal.  In the last week we have progressed to a full understanding of roles and responsibilities and timing for me joining the organization. As a matter of fact the CEO announced to the board of directors at a recent meeting that I would be coming on board very soon. Tom Vogl and I have discussed my joining the Mountaineers staff as director of operations and I can't wait to get started!

Anderson House

After two weeks at Harborview I transferred to Anderson House in Shoreline and have settled in very comfortably here.  Ah Anderson House.  Peace and quiet reigns.   It is definitely a place to convalesce and I’ve been making marked improvement every day.  The people are kind and responsive, the food is homemade and tasty, and it is close enough to home in Ballard so that it is convenient for Marijane to visit. 

My bed is situated close to a large window that overlooks the facility’s backyard and I can see a green corridor with trees, bushes, and rockery.  The very kind maintenance person has hung a bird feeder and a hummingbird feeder just outside of my window to increase the activity out there.

Over my bed a two-tiered triangular shaped clothesline arrangement has been installed (originally inspired by Caycee) and dozens of pictures brought here by friends and attached with small clothes pins hang from this impromptu display system.  I have further personalized the room by draping Tibetan prayer flags along the nearest leg of the overhead triangle and hanging pictures from home on the walls.

My days at Anderson House are fairly well regimented with several sessions of in bed workout for arms, legs, and core (as well as special focus on hand strength and range of motion), blocks of time with physical therapy and occupational therapy, practice getting out of bed and into a wheelchair, plus time for three square meals (this convalescence stuff takes a lot of energy!), catching up on email, making phone calls and visiting with friends. The days have flown by.

We have made two return visits to Harborview as well. The first visit focused on my hands and very thankfully the doctors allowed me to move away from full arm casts. With three-quarter casts I am able to feed myself, brush teeth, comb hair and otherwise greatly increase self-reliance.

The second visit focused on my feet, and the doctors replaced splints with more permanent protection. My right leg has a full-on cast and my left leg is in a removable boot. Apparently there's enough damage in the right leg that they want continued complete immobility, but they have instructed physical therapy to remove the boot from my left leg once a day and begin very gentle manipulation of the ankle joint; no more than 10 degrees or so in any direction. Coming out of the boot feels fantastic and the gentle manipulation was initially a little freaky but represents no significant increase in discomfort.

The next scheduled visit to Harborview is in the first week of September, two weeks hence, and who knows what they'll decide at that point.  Very likely it will all depend on what the x-rays reveal. Fingers crossed that everything is mending as the doctors anticipate.

Harborview

As it turned out four separate teams of Harborview doctors got to work on me right away: a separate team for each foot, a team for the wrists and forearms, and another team for the backbone.  Subsequently the teams got together and awarded me the dubious honor of having presented the greatest amount of repairable injuries in a single incident short of amputation (in the last 12 months). I think they thought of me as kind of an interesting jigsaw puzzle.

I was in ICU for the first week and for the first round of surgeries where the teams put things back more or less in the right location.  I tuned out when they started talking about bone degloving and things that should be in my shins ending up in my heels. The second week at Harborview I was out of ICU and going through the second round of surgeries where the teams were installing rods and plates and screws and all kinds of neat stuff making final structural placements as accurately as possible.

Harborview is our trauma center for the Pacific Northwest and the doctors there put people back together again all the time and they're really good at it. Another thing they are really good at is understanding when the body begins giving back real sensation and knowing when to dial up the pain meds.  Yes, I did experience some pain, but far less than you might imagine. The nurses keep asking you what's your pain level and they make adjustments based on your response. Their goal is to back down the pain meds in a reasonable amount of time and get you ready to transition to a convalescence facility so they can make room for the next trauma patient.

Harborview is definitely a place to get fixed and not to convalesce. The four separate teams have an overarching goal of achieving the best outcome for their assigned limb and they don't have time to coordinate amongst themselves so you're constantly getting pulled out of bed for one thing or another. The net result is an optimal surgical outcome but customer service isn't the greatest.  Also the pace of the place is non-stop 24/7. The intercom is constantly blaring code red this and code blue that, or Dr. so-and-so hit your call button, or nurse X please go to room Y stat!   It's exhausting.

After two weeks at Harborview I was finished with surgeries, off of intravenous pain meds, and more or less stable and ready to transition to Anderson House in Shoreline, a full-on nursing / convalescence facility.

The fall

It's fast. And then you're on the ground. Moments later I was surrounded by people with medical skills watching over me and letting me know I wasn't alone. I didn't lose consciousness and afterwards people told me I was apologizing for the disturbance and inconvenience.  Sounds about right.

My nervous system did a pretty neat thing. Immediately, it gave me only a dial tone rather than pain. I knew I needed to stay still but had no idea how injured I might be. I was breathing through a bloody nose so knew I had hit my face at some point. The paramedics arrived in no time, bundled me onto a gurney, and wheeled me out to their ambulance. The ride to Harborview was quick and uneventful and I was thinking, 'hmmm maybe it's not so bad.'

Maybe not. The good news is my spinal cord was not impacted, I didn't injure my brain, and I have 100% access to my nervous system, so I am one lucky dude. The bad news I did pretty serious damage to both feet, ankles, and shins, backbone,  both wrists and forearms. I landed at sort of a 45 degree angle feet first, then butt, then hands and finally face, . . . as I must have been looking over my shoulder to see whether there was someone below me.

Once at Harborview I was able to make several phone calls to let people know I wouldn't be able to meet certain commitments later that day and that weekend. Marijane got the first call of course letting her know what had happened and where I was and that I was ok but not so ok.   Next I called an afternoon meeting appointment to let them know I probably wouldn't be able to make it. Finally I called a climbing friend to let them know the situation and the likelihood that I wouldn't be able to make our planned climb that weekend. I still didn't know how serious the injuries were and was probably in total denial.

The day of the fall

Climbing at Vertical World in Ballard on Tuesday and Thursday mornings as well as Sunday evenings was a part of my usual schedule. Many of us arrived on weekday mornings as soon as the gym opened and got our climbs in prior to the rest of the day unfolding. On this particular Thursday my usual climbing partner was on vacation and so I was using the auto belays.

I have used auto belays all the time and have a very methodical approach to clipping in and double-checking that I am clipped in before climbing.  I never boulder climb unclipped, so there is absolutely no circumstance where I would intentionally start heading up a climbing route without protection.  On this morning I had already finished one lap with all of the available auto belays and had one route left to go to complete my second full lap.

With everything else going on that day I was in a bit of a hurry, but was having to wait for someone else to finish with that one last route. When it came free I walked straight up and got going. Because this was my last route of the morning I didn't intend to get to the very top but to get most of the way up to the crux and then just auto belay back down.  As a result I would be letting go of the wall rather than triple checking the auto belay at the top of the route before heading back down.

It is still absolutely incomprehensible to me that I could have started climbing without clipping in but there's no other explanation. People who were there close by when I fell noticed immediately that the auto belay I should have been using was still clipped to the wall.

Hence, contributing factors to the fall include:
1. sleepiness from all nighters pulled earlier in the week
2. other important pressing items that needed to get taken care of later that day
3. Impatience at having to wait to get started on that last route of the day
4. the decision to climb only a portion of the route

When I imagine that moment when I let go of the wall and realized that I had no protection I still flinch in shear amazement.  For crying out loud, how could I have possibly allowed myself to become that distracted?!

The week before the fall

Naturally the week before the fall was a busy week: standard Ashby protocol. The prior weekend we had climbed Black Peak's North East Ridge and it was fantastic.

However taking the weekend to climb put me behind schedule on wrapping up a six month DIY project (+300 hour invested thus far) for my daughter's birthday that Tuesday. I basically pulled all-nighters Sunday night and Monday night to get done on time, and of course I made it. I was able to catch up on sleep to some extent on Tuesday and Wednesday night but I was still a little groggy on Thursday morning.

Also I needed to prepare for the coming weekend's climb of Tupshin, Devore and Flora. I needed to do more research on available beta and begin getting my gear together Thursday afternoon. One other pressing matter was a job interview scheduled for Thursday afternoon.

Hence, on Thursday morning there was a lot going on and I found myself in a bit of a hurry and a little distracted and probably a little mentally tired from the all-nighters.